Making Waves

It happens to you. It happens to me. We see or hear a word, an item, an idea or an absurdity and then EVERYWHERE there is evidence of that particular notion. Undoubtedly the word strikes a chord, which subconsciously alerts our eyes and ears to additional evidence.

But why? Because we have a certain lesson to learn - as the saying "when the student is ready the teacher will show up" indicates? Or because we need to share something? Or because we read goofy stuff and listen to goofy people and goofy minds have a way of thinking alike as do great ones?

The word ripple recently invaded my headspace, making me wonder where to find a bottle of it. And I'm not talking about chocolate ripple ice cream either, which might be the comfort food of choice while I figure this out. Nor am I talking about the ripples in my skin that the ice cream certainly contributes to. Nor am I referring to the little waves on a body of water. Im thinking of the invisible ripples caused by words and actions in our heads, those never spoken aloud.

In this instance I first saw a memo on Facebook touting the positive outcomes of kind deeds, comparing them to ripples. Size doesn't matter since a branch from a tree and an aggravating horsefly both create ripples. So it is with outward manifestations of kindness.

Next I heard a teaser about an upcoming radio program dealing with studies showing anger and kindness equally contagious - due to the ripple effect. (I call it a teaser since I set my alarm for 5 AM to listen possibly till 9 AM for the few minutes' discussion about that topic). A book title followed. Then an old clipping. Ripples had my attention.

One slowly-sipped mug of coffee and an hour of talk radio later, I heard what I was waiting for. A 32-year study (Yale, I think) of about 5000 people in one Massachusetts town supported the ripple theory. As one person became happy or sad, the others in their circles manifested similar emotions. Negative emotions were more infectious. Anger leads to more anger. Knee-jerk reactions to anger catalysts are seldom productive. Anger is bad for our health, too. Research showed kindness also contagious. Though kindness riffple effects are more subtle, they are evident nonetheless and conversely good for our personal health.

Both the hearer and the speaker benefit, and it's measurable. Research shows that one-on-one, person-to-person interactions are generally good for both if (1) they leave politics out of it and if (2) they interact face-to-face rather than via social media. We get clues from another when we interact in the flesh. It's easier to bash someone via screens since there are no body language clues, facial expressions or tones to wave a red flag that our words are perceived as attacks - by someone we would never accost during a meal of hamburger and fries at McD's.

Some thoughts on the positive ripple effect. *If I find myself in your puddle, I will strive to be optimistic. *If you carry an anchor of negativity with you, please stay out of my puddle. *Optimism begets kindness. *We can coach one another with goodwill without attacking. *There is room for improvement all around us AND within us. *When we make mistakes, we can learn from them. *Generally speaking, none of us eveer intends to do harm.

"Optimism is...declaring what 'needs to be' in the face of what is. Optimism is not uncool; it is rebellious and daring and vital," says Guillermo del Toro and I agree.