Pandemonium

FYI - This is National Pandemonium Day. It’s defined as noisy confusion or disorder. That might imply that such uproars involve lots of people. Wrong. I am the queen of solo pandemonia. (That is a word. So is pandemoniums, but that sounds funny).

Pandemonium will occur when - not if - my laptop misbehaves. Unusual screen antics create a ruckus under my roof. Sometimes my desk chair falls over as I frantically run upstairs to check the WiFi modem. That involves stomping. I can’t go quickly up those good stairs quietly.

That worries the cat who sounds like an elephant himself going up and down. Then there is the bumping and scraping when I close him in and have to bound back up to let him out before analyzing my next move. There is always a next move. It is never the fault of the modem.

Lately it has been the fault of the internet - or the phone company - but one might as well blame it on the weather because….who ya gonna call? It’s a mysterious, invisible monster that preys most on folks who are not computer savvy. ( I HAVE called for assistance. The technicians and I never speak the same language. They don’t take kindly to being asked to dumb it down even if I say please).

Prone to talking to myself, I definitely jabber in such scenarios, Frustration mixed with rising panic makes my voice rise, too. drowning out the radio and sending the cat into hiding. I knock stuff over searching for shoes while yanking up my purse and keys as I plan an Internet hunt, slamming the door to remember I closed it. (OCD tendencies love surfacing in pandemonium).

Last week I had such an occurrence. As content coordinator for a magazine, I write/edit/plug words into a specific format. With a pestering deadline and mediocre ideas taunting me, everything I opened began updating as a memo flashed that I was offline. What?!? Then the whole magazine disappeared! It would not come back.

My brain ranted and pleaded in overdrive as I exited the zombie zone I live in. I stayed calm enough to provide passwords that are seldom requested and otherwise kept my fingers off the keyboard. My magazine was back after the automatic restart. Pandemonium faded to celebration. The internet-friendly couch saved the day.