Berry - Caramel Conspiracy

I have a message for the company that bakes our beloved Hostess snacks. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” These days I rely on the consistency of my comfort food choices. Some flavor variations mess with more than just my taste buds. A Twinkie with a berry filling is criminal. The visual assault was almost as vicious as the one my tastebuds endured. Thank goodness that first bite was not my usual half-a-Twinkie portion. It's hard to be couth AND inconspicuous spitting out even a mini mushy morsel. The original Twinkie filling is perfect in taste and color. Now a snappy convenience store run is marred by having to actually READ Twinkie wrappers to avoid a revolting repeat.

Sadly, I now have to read Ding Dong packaging, too. What conspiracy is at work here? I adjusted to what I perceived as a slight alteration in taste when the foil wrapping was discontinued but Ding Dongs are still the almost-perfect chocolate treat. (The perfect? My grandmother's fried chocolate pies.) I do not have a problem with caramel. It’s great on apples or popcorn or as a bite-sized candy. It does not belong in a Ding Dong. It intolerably alters the taste and appearance, prompting me to toss a Ding Dong and a half into the trash - the lesser of two evils.

While I am discussing change, I want to mention the potty-training of cows. Yes, that’s a thing, getting cows to do their thing in indoor stalls. Using a molasses-flavored treat as the reward for #1 in the designated space, it took about 15 days to get them on board. (The pee is problematic when it mixes with their poop, I now know). Just don’t add caramel or berry flavoring to their sweet reward. Rebellion would be a messy stampede.