Drive-In Dilemma

Plain English please! We might think that when reading through political paraphernalia and legal documents. And assembly instructions! Just as confusing when diagrams look like a 3-year-old drew them and don’t match items in hand. Online instructions? My home Internet visits netherworlds at will despite strong WiFi, meaning screens freeze or fade in the midst of how-to’s.

Once in a while I run across a how-to dilemma with no reference guide to decipher, because either I or the device outlived the need for one. Think using a rotary phone. For nostalgia’s sake, they are still around and should come with dialing instructions for a segment of the population to operate.

Drive-ins are still around, too. That trek back into time tickles everyone, but can be tarnished by having a digital car. Automobile manual authors are guilty of grand oversight by failing to include a section on managing the smarter cars’ bells and whistles - well, really, more like how to turn them off. The ways to do so are probably buried hither and thither in the contents, but it is all so puzzling without a key in an ignition. A simple appendix on managing lights and horn at a drive-in would save this boomer from incapacitating embarrassment.

Cars keep ‘thinking’ when you press to stop. Whatcha gonna do, throw your fob out the window to keep the horn quiet? Jackets cover the screen’s glow, but apparently bodies remaining in the seats make lights turn on intermittently to offer ‘assistance.’ Not-so-smart solution complicated by too much static on the outdoor speaker? Give up on the accessory feature, start the car, roll down the windows, stop the car, open the door, put on the jackets, wait for lights to go off and horn to honk again 3 times, and enjoy the show. Don't go the the rest room unless you want to repeat the rigmarole.