Beware of First Impressions

“You can’t judge a book by its cover.” That’s a phrase I’ve heard a time or two. My generation often assumed a variety of ‘truths’ based on appearances and language. It was drilled into me growing up that I had only one chance to make a first impression.

School dress codes reflected the success of this programming. If my recollections aren’t too blurry, the rules for the boys seemed pickier than those for the girls. All I had to worry about during my senior year at Doniphan High School was the length of my skirt. (I don’t remember if there were any rules about covering my midriff and cleavage. My raisin’ guaranteed that wouldn’t be an issue.) The boys had to tuck in their shirts, wear belts and socks and keep their hairstyles above their collars.

Making assumptions these days on first impressions increases the likelihood of missing out on great reads, for instance. A favorite reviewer of mine gave high praise to a novel she recently critiqued after noting she almost didn’t even open it. She found the image on the cover startling and made what turned out to be a totally false assumption about the plot. That’s taking ‘not judging a book by its cover’ quite literally.

We can miss out on much more than fabulous fiction if we fall into that narrow-minded first-impression trap. I’ve eaten marvelous meals in the humblest of settings, heard fascinating melodies and lyrics from genres I habitually shunned, been awed by the knowledge and expertise of rednecks, long-haired hippies and Gen X'ers, Z'ers and millenials!

What is most alarming are my beloved friendships that might have never flourished had I made snap judgments on first interactions. Wait, just maybe I have that flip-flopped. I’m grateful they gave me a second chance at first impressions.